I still forgive.
Still, still, still.
I still afford you trust and love and kindness.
And grace and mercy and everything I have.
I want you to see me grow!
Lord God, please give me strength. More strength than I've ever asked for before.
Matched only by what I asked for in 2005.
For five and a half years I asked for strength, for hope, for forgiveness and peace.
When it finally came, it set me free.
How wonderful that day was!
I cried out with joy; my heart was made new.
So why now, Lord, must I sit here crying out with all I have?
If you told me you would burst forth & reveal so strongly that it would 'rattle [another's] bones, why do I hurt worse than ever before?
Like an amputation.
A great loss.
Oddly, painfully, hauntingly familiar.
"Welcome to February 17th, 2005- The Sequel!"
Or so it feels.
The sequel is every bit as horrible as the original.
I want to destroy this movie.
I trust You, I trust You...
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